Dear Future Husband…
It’s February. The month of amore. And although I was not the girl at home crying into her pillow, shaking her fist to the sky, demanding to know why she’s single on Valentine’s Day, I have been thinking about you a lot lately. A LOT.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I think about you from time to time, saying little prayers for you, asking God to help propel you through any tough times you may have, or keep the blessings you may experience coming, or even noticing in a male of the present what I DON’T want you to be and hoping with all my might that you find your way to me. But this time was different. I could feel it in my heart how bad I wanted to meet you.
I know, I know. How do I know that I haven’t met you yet? I could know you now. I guess, maybe it’s a gut feeling. Or maybe its the fact that even if I met you right now, before you’re ready for me, you wouldn’t really be my husband yet, huh? But I’m getting off track, as you will come to know happens all the time. Anyway, the fact that it seems that here in Texas everyone has a significant other seems to be a little depressing at times. Sometimes, I love my single life and I feel empowered and I totally get why you’re not here, yet. Actually, most times, I get it. But for the past week, I have been struggling to come up with one valid reason why you’re not in my life. Not circumstantial reasons like the fact that I have a demanding job and a demanding major and won’t have enough time for you, but real hardcore reasons like, I need to find myself, and learn to love myself first. Because in the last year, I have done all of that.
I have never been so sure of myself. I have never loved myself more. I have never been more proud of myself. I have never felt more me than right now. I feel invincible, like I could do anything. I could achieve great things, and the only thing that seems to be missing from this equation is…you.
Or a filler. And I know that sounds horrid, but if you’re not ready for me, or I’m not ready for you like I think I am, then, there should be someone here while you’re…where ever you are. And I’m frustrated because….there is no one here. Not even a prospective somethin’ somethin’. I don’t know.
I continue to pray for you, though. I hope you’re doing okay. I hope you think of me just as much as I think of you. I hope that you are learning and growing into an awesome man. Because I am turning into quite the amazing woman.
Divinely Chosen For You,